Geek Quotes

I can't union with the null set."
-- Greg Kaiser, explaining why his social life mathematically sucks

"Did you know there's a 'places of interest' section in the phone book?"
"We're trying to find something to eat and he's surfing the phone book!"
-- Mike Lee, Scott Powers

" I think the purpose of dating is to get warez."
-- Geoff Raye on #uiuc

"no.. a freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother."
-- Unknown, via KC Smith on IRC

"Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction -- from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work."
-- Unknown

"At Group L, Mr. Stoffel oversees six first-rate programmers, a managerial challenge roughly comparable to herding cats."
-- The Washington Post Magazine, 9 June, 1985

Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.
-- H.S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come."
-- Matt Groening

"See, you not only have to be a good coder to create a system like Linux, you have to be a sneaky bastard too ;-)"
-- Linus Torvalds

"There are only two ways of dealing with women...and neither of them work."
-- Jeff Thompson

"It is a natural law. Physics tells us that for every action, there must be an equal and opposite reaction. They hate us, we hate them, they hate us back and so, here we are, victims of mathematics."
-- Londo, "A Voice in the Wilderness I"

"We don't understand the software, and sometimes we don't understand the hardware, but we can *see* the blinking lights!"
-- Unknown

"Augh. My boss comes up to me and says 'One of the users, he wants you to call him right away - its an emergency.'
'What is it?', i ask him?
'Oh. He can't seem to find a news group about making clay pots.' I
respond, 'This is not my job.'"
-- Pat Dughi

"If I could get HEAD with Mosaic, I'd stay at work all the time."
-- Dan Pape

"With a name like Ithamar, you don't *need* a middle name."
-- Ish

"Who needs television -- I have ISDN."
-- Ben Gross

"Hickie warfare is a lot like nuclear warfare. Nobody wins."
-- Joe Gross

"It's supposed to be unhappy. It's unix."
-- Ben Gross