Some Friday advice....

Contributed by: uKrease

If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be too afraid to cough
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan

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