You know you`re a Redneck when....
Tuesday, February 07 2006 @ 08:08 PM SAST
Contributed by: uKrease
...you mow your lawn and you find three cars you didn`t know you had...
...You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree...
Are you a Redneck ?
Read on to find out....
You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
You think the Nutcracker is something you do off the high dive.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You've bathed with flea and tick soap.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have used a rag for a gas cap.
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You have a complete set of salad bowls, and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.
You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high board diving.
Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
You took a fishing pole to Sea World.
You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.
The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
You thought the Unabomber was a wrestler.
You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $10,000 worth of improvement.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65mph.
Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.
You've ever been accused of lying through your tooth.
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